A Swatch Moment...
I'm standing at the watch counter at the Swatch store in Glendale, California. Maliheh, one of my employees, stands beside me running her manicured fingernails through her long brown hair. She's originally from Iran but you'd never know it by her unaccented English and her very trendy, very L.A. fashion sense.
Today, she's wearing a black skirt with a low-cut blouse, revealing olive-skinned cleavage and a gold necklace fashioned with the word: HUSTLER.
The necklace was a present from Larry Flynt, who, according to Maliheh, hands them out like candies at his numerous parties. The boobs, well, I never asked where she got those.
A thin man with stringy blond hair strolls in from the mall and begins scrutinizing the Chrono watches. He eyes Maliheh out of the corner of his eye--as most men do--and then snaps his attention back to the silver watch in his hand.
At that moment, Maliheh somehow bangs her finger against the counter and hisses a profanity. She sticks her finger in her mouth and pouts.
The skinny man ambles over and says, "Wow, that looked like it really hurt."
Maliheh frowns, nodding.
"So where did you bang it?"
She points to the corner and then puts her finger back in her mouth.
"Listen," the guys says, acknowledging me with a curt nod, "my name's Brian. What're your names?"
Maliheh and I exchange bemused glances and then we tell Brian our names.
He then proceeds to explain that he's a Scientologist and can make Maliheh's hurt finger not hurt anymore.
Both of us lean forward with interest.
"All you have to do," he begins, "is lay the tip of your finger on the exact spot where you banged it. Then keep tapping it, and the pain will vanish."
I suppress a grin as Maliheh follows his directions.
After a few light taps, during which Brian's eyes wander in the vicinity of the gold Hustler necklace, Maliheh's eyes light up and she tells us in an astonished tone how the pain is completely gone.
Brian beams a what-did-I-tell-you look and then hands us each a business card.
We watch him leave and I turn to Maliheh to express my amazement at what had just transpired.
"Are you kidding?" she says. "I was lying my ass off. It hurts like a motherfucker."
Today, she's wearing a black skirt with a low-cut blouse, revealing olive-skinned cleavage and a gold necklace fashioned with the word: HUSTLER.
The necklace was a present from Larry Flynt, who, according to Maliheh, hands them out like candies at his numerous parties. The boobs, well, I never asked where she got those.
A thin man with stringy blond hair strolls in from the mall and begins scrutinizing the Chrono watches. He eyes Maliheh out of the corner of his eye--as most men do--and then snaps his attention back to the silver watch in his hand.
At that moment, Maliheh somehow bangs her finger against the counter and hisses a profanity. She sticks her finger in her mouth and pouts.
The skinny man ambles over and says, "Wow, that looked like it really hurt."
Maliheh frowns, nodding.
"So where did you bang it?"
She points to the corner and then puts her finger back in her mouth.
"Listen," the guys says, acknowledging me with a curt nod, "my name's Brian. What're your names?"
Maliheh and I exchange bemused glances and then we tell Brian our names.
He then proceeds to explain that he's a Scientologist and can make Maliheh's hurt finger not hurt anymore.
Both of us lean forward with interest.
"All you have to do," he begins, "is lay the tip of your finger on the exact spot where you banged it. Then keep tapping it, and the pain will vanish."
I suppress a grin as Maliheh follows his directions.
After a few light taps, during which Brian's eyes wander in the vicinity of the gold Hustler necklace, Maliheh's eyes light up and she tells us in an astonished tone how the pain is completely gone.
Brian beams a what-did-I-tell-you look and then hands us each a business card.
We watch him leave and I turn to Maliheh to express my amazement at what had just transpired.
"Are you kidding?" she says. "I was lying my ass off. It hurts like a motherfucker."
posted by Grant-Will-Rant at
7:13 PM
3 Comments:
*cracking up*
Great story. Crazy Scientologists...
By
Anonymous, at 2:48 PM, August 14, 2005
Is it possible you told this story to me at Bootcamp? Because it sounds oddly familiar....
By
Anonymous, at 8:22 AM, August 16, 2005
I don't remember. But if the topic of Scientology ever once came up in conversation then more than likely you heard this story; it's one of my favorites.
By
Anonymous, at 8:52 AM, August 16, 2005
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