No Gnus Is Good Gnus...

CBEST: I will find out the results on Monday, February 28 after 5pm! So stay tuned to this channel for that exciting gnus. But I must say that I have a friend (I won’t mention the name) who failed the CBEST ten times. Yeah, no lies here...that's TEN tries that ended in failure. That's 10 X $40 = $400!! Talk about a good excuse for suicide.

Vagina: Yes, you guessed it: The Vagina girls were back on campus. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, read this.) I was doing my usual trek from Geography class to the library when I heard that unmistakable voice announcing loudly, "Come, kiss the vagina!" I stopped and watched a girl toss and miss by a good two feet. Then the girl on the microphone told her she'd give her another try if she could name four synonyms for vagina. At this point some dude in a fraternity booth yelled out, "*****" And the girl on the microphone said, "Great job!!" Then someone else yelled, "******" At about that time I had made it to the library door, so I didn't get to hear the other synonyms...but I could imagine. (If you haven't seen the original picture then go here.)

Jury Duty: Well, I found out I could postpone my civic duty. It's not that I don't want to fulfill my responsibility as a free citizen in this great country of ours, but it would be just slightly impossible with the 22 units I'm carrying. So I logged on to the provided internet site, typed my badge number, and hit the postpone button. "We're sorry, we are unable to process your request at this time." DAMMIT. So I called the automated phone line. This time I got to hear the same apology but in some robot-woman's voice. JUST GREAT! Luckily I was transferred to a real person who helped me out in 3 seconds flat. So the courthouse will be calling sometime in July.

Loser: That's me. I was so proud to finish a PowerPoint presentation for my Russian history class that I placed it online for all my classmates (and professor) to view a few days before the actual due date. Unfortunately I saved it as a .htm instead of a .ppt, which totally screwed those who didn't have the latest version of Explorer, which turned out to be half the class! So while my professor congratulated me for "setting the standard with such a fantastic presentation of Students, Professors, and the State in Tsarist Russia", the poor bastards in my class were probably sticking pins into a voodoo doll with my likeness. Hence: the overachiever loses again. But it really is a coooool presentation.

Random Advice: Before turning on a ceiling fan for the first time after months of idleness, wipe with damp cloth. Unless you like choking on a winter's worth of dust for an hour. I found it pretty disagreeable.