C'est moi, le Nutty Professor...

A few minutes ago I pulled the longest, stiffest nose hair out of my nose. Seriously, I could’ve picked a deadbolt with that sucker. I was so impressed that I had to share it with all of you. I love getting rid of nose hairs—they’re so annoying. And the older I get the more malicious they become...poking me and making my eyes water.

Coarse eyebrow hairs are also fun to exterminate. I think when I start teaching high school I’ll leave them be, that way I’ll exude the Nutty Professor stereotype.