Kiddie Konversations…

10th grade World History (not that it matters)

Zach: I can’t believe you’re a vegetarian. Don’t you know if you don’t drink the cow’s milk they’ll explode?

Sabrina: Yuck. I don’t like milk.

Zack: …because you’re a vegetarian…that’s stupid…

Sabrina: So…

Zack: So lots of cows are dying because of you…

Me: What’re you guys talking about?

Zack: She’s a vegetarian.

Me: Ahh, so that’s why you don’t drink milk.

Sabrina: I don’t like milk.

Me: You drink soy?

Sabrina: (nods) yeah

Zack, Ryan, Stephanie: Yuck! That’s sick.

Me: I have a friend who’s a vegan and once I was staying at her house and I had to put soy milk in my coffee instead of cream.

Zack: Yuck!

Sabrina: Did you like it?

Me: (grimacing) Not really…but I had a boca burger once and it wasn’t that bad.

Zack: You really ate one of those things…?

Me: Yeah, you should try it.

Zack: No way…I only eat cows.

Sabrina: (to me) He lives on a farm.

Me: Really? (to Zack) Do you have cows?

Zack: No, but we have horses and chickens and stuff…

Me: Chickens? Uh-oh, you better be careful.

Everyone: Why?

Me: Well, haven’t you heard about the bird flu?

(looks of confusion)

Me: It’s a flu that’s going around that you can catch from birds.

Zack: So what does it do?

Me: It kills you.

Zack: WHAT? Are you serious?

Me: Yeah. You know you’ve got it when you wake up in the morning and start going BAGOK BOK BOK BOK BAGOK…

(laughter)

Stephanie: Is that for real?

Me: No, I’m kidding. The bird flu’s real but you won’t start chirping or anything. Anyway, you guys better get back to work…err…something...