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About a year ago I stopped by the campus health clinic because my ears felt like they had sucked in all the water from Niagara Falls and so I figured I had another ear or sinus infection and would need antibiotics. The doctor told me my ears were fine, they would clear up on their own, but my blood pressure was extremely high.
The next day I returned to the clinic for a blood test to check my cholesterol, which later turned out to be really high, too. The doctor gave me a once over and told me in a superior tone that I needed to exercise more. Then he referred me to a nutritionist.
After that I became Mr. Health Freak. I stopped eating foods with too much sugar. No more brownies, no more Hostess cupcakes, no more drenching my pancakes with boysenberry syrup. I stopped using salt, sugar, drinking sodas, eating scoops of fudge from a jar, and I lowered my coffee intake to two cups a day as opposed to three an hour.
A few months after that I dropped in for another blood test. My cholesterol had gone down significantly and the blood pressure had dropped to a relatively safe zone. But the doctor told me I still needed to exercise. Rats, I thought.
Then came summertime.
After my trip to France, where I completely disregarded everything above and topped it off with McDonald's cheeseburgers everyday (because I'm not the biggest fan of French food...sorry to those in France who read this blog), I came back to the States and paid another visit to the health clinic. Let me tell you, it wasn't pretty.
Of course I got really angry. All that work and I was back to square one. And so what did I do? I said, No way am I going back to that clinic again. They must've screwed my test up! Those bastards just want my five dollars! But then I started actually feeling the effects of the high blood pressure. Usually after eating. And then at night in bed I would literally feel my heart pounding in my chest to the point that it was impossible to sleep.
So I decided to go back to my vigorous nutritional regime and I donned my Mr. Health Freak cap again and started eating oatmeal every day and I cut out all the sweets... But what really helped, and what prompted me to write this blog that has now become entirely too long, was the exercise machine that my mom and her husband, Rick, gave me as a graduation gift. It's called the Gazelle, and I love it! Since I've been using it my heart no longer tries to burst from my chest cavity like that creature on Alien, my stomach has visibly tightened, my legs are now trés Schwarzenegger, my arms are Popeye-esque, and my face no longer looks like an albino pumpkin.
I've never felt healthier!
The next day I returned to the clinic for a blood test to check my cholesterol, which later turned out to be really high, too. The doctor gave me a once over and told me in a superior tone that I needed to exercise more. Then he referred me to a nutritionist.
After that I became Mr. Health Freak. I stopped eating foods with too much sugar. No more brownies, no more Hostess cupcakes, no more drenching my pancakes with boysenberry syrup. I stopped using salt, sugar, drinking sodas, eating scoops of fudge from a jar, and I lowered my coffee intake to two cups a day as opposed to three an hour.
A few months after that I dropped in for another blood test. My cholesterol had gone down significantly and the blood pressure had dropped to a relatively safe zone. But the doctor told me I still needed to exercise. Rats, I thought.
Then came summertime.
After my trip to France, where I completely disregarded everything above and topped it off with McDonald's cheeseburgers everyday (because I'm not the biggest fan of French food...sorry to those in France who read this blog), I came back to the States and paid another visit to the health clinic. Let me tell you, it wasn't pretty.
Of course I got really angry. All that work and I was back to square one. And so what did I do? I said, No way am I going back to that clinic again. They must've screwed my test up! Those bastards just want my five dollars! But then I started actually feeling the effects of the high blood pressure. Usually after eating. And then at night in bed I would literally feel my heart pounding in my chest to the point that it was impossible to sleep.
So I decided to go back to my vigorous nutritional regime and I donned my Mr. Health Freak cap again and started eating oatmeal every day and I cut out all the sweets... But what really helped, and what prompted me to write this blog that has now become entirely too long, was the exercise machine that my mom and her husband, Rick, gave me as a graduation gift. It's called the Gazelle, and I love it! Since I've been using it my heart no longer tries to burst from my chest cavity like that creature on Alien, my stomach has visibly tightened, my legs are now trés Schwarzenegger, my arms are Popeye-esque, and my face no longer looks like an albino pumpkin.
I've never felt healthier!
posted by Grant-Will-Rant at
8:08 PM
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