Rooney Ville Reminiscence...
This particular blog is dedicated to my friend, Jack, who, to my great delight, recently upgraded his nerd status by setting up residence in the Blogosphere. I have every reason to believe that Rooney Ville will soar to an excellence of which I can only dream.
So, click on over to Rooney Ville, pull up a chair, light a cigar, blow smoke in a cow's face, and...well...just chill....
Speaking of cows, Jack is deathly afraid of them. Why, you ask: Who the hell knows. He claims that it's their bottomless brown eyes--those vacant sockets that harbor an evil so formidable as to chill Jack's blood whenever he finds himself trapped in their solemn gaze.
I, on the other hand, have a more rational fear: Sharks! You see, sharks can actually eat you. Whereas cows can only be eaten by you. I mean, who's ever heard of a cow attack? Oh Billy, stay away from the fence honey...the cow might maul you to death!
Anyway, I'm also not too keen on skunks. This may sound rather bizarre, but I have a reasonable explanation. You see, there was this time--I think I was around 16 years old--I was spending the night at Jack's house and we decided to sneak over and kick it in the Jacuzzi in the apartment complex on the other side of his backyard fence.
When we returned to Jack's house he realized he'd left his fancy shmancy calculator watch by the Jacuzzi so, being the exceptionally cool friend that I was (and still am), I volunteered to fetch it for him. Only when I ran through his backyard I was confronted by a humongous skunk (fangs, red eyes, six inch talons) and I froze. Well, as you might expect, the skunk didn't. Rather, it proceeded to turn me into a human stink bomb.
By the way, the watch was gone; we think the security guard stole it. So basically I was victimized by Pépé le Pu for nothing.
The moral of the story: At times, being the "exceptionally cool friend" can really stink.
So, click on over to Rooney Ville, pull up a chair, light a cigar, blow smoke in a cow's face, and...well...just chill....
Speaking of cows, Jack is deathly afraid of them. Why, you ask: Who the hell knows. He claims that it's their bottomless brown eyes--those vacant sockets that harbor an evil so formidable as to chill Jack's blood whenever he finds himself trapped in their solemn gaze.
I, on the other hand, have a more rational fear: Sharks! You see, sharks can actually eat you. Whereas cows can only be eaten by you. I mean, who's ever heard of a cow attack? Oh Billy, stay away from the fence honey...the cow might maul you to death!
Anyway, I'm also not too keen on skunks. This may sound rather bizarre, but I have a reasonable explanation. You see, there was this time--I think I was around 16 years old--I was spending the night at Jack's house and we decided to sneak over and kick it in the Jacuzzi in the apartment complex on the other side of his backyard fence.
When we returned to Jack's house he realized he'd left his fancy shmancy calculator watch by the Jacuzzi so, being the exceptionally cool friend that I was (and still am), I volunteered to fetch it for him. Only when I ran through his backyard I was confronted by a humongous skunk (fangs, red eyes, six inch talons) and I froze. Well, as you might expect, the skunk didn't. Rather, it proceeded to turn me into a human stink bomb.
By the way, the watch was gone; we think the security guard stole it. So basically I was victimized by Pépé le Pu for nothing.
The moral of the story: At times, being the "exceptionally cool friend" can really stink.
posted by Grant-Will-Rant at
9:27 PM
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