Utter Bliss...
Every Saturday I treat myself to a movie and a book. That is, I go to the Edward’s 21 screen cinema and see the latest flick, then I use my weekly Border’s 20% off coupon (thanks to my newsletter subscription) to purchase a new paperback. The problem is: I never have enough time to read any of these dang books!
So the pile’s getting taller and taller. But I can’t stop buying books!
So this past weekend I made a deal with myself that I knew I couldn’t refuse (Err...). I decided not to do any homework. Yep, that’s right. I didn’t do squat. Instead, I read fiction. I actually kicked back on my bed, steaming cup of java within reach, and read, and read, and read. And I finished Ben Bova’s Empire Builders. And then I waltzed over to my teetering pile of books and grabbed Ben Bova’s Mars—and I read, and read, and read.
Utter bliss...
But now I’m paying for neglecting my homework. I have so much crap (and I mean it: it’s all a bunch of worthless busywork) and it’s all due on Monday. But here I am, writing a blog. Hee hee. And surfing the net. Hee hee. Still neglecting. Hee hee.
In fact, (and here comes the tangent) during my surf-fest I googled “time travel” to see if there were any viable theories I could turn into a reality. Time Travel = Grant can go back to last weekend and finish his damn homework so that he’s not stuck doing it all this weekend (very Hermione Granger, I know).
So I found this cool website that explained that all I had to do was give them my name and address, plus ten dollars, and I could travel into the future. You see, my ten dollars goes into a fund that accrues mucho interest over 500 years (their estimation of when time travel will be invented) and then the time travelers will come pick me up. So, theoretically, if I put ten dollars in right now, the people from the future will pick me up a moment later.
And the truly excellent part is: My ten dollars will now be worth millions! Of course, the time travelers will deduct the cost of picking me up and taking me into the future. But, hey, I’ll still be rich. And then I won’t have to worry about homework, or school, or lame ass tenth grader comments. I could read, and read, and read.
Utter bliss...
So the pile’s getting taller and taller. But I can’t stop buying books!
So this past weekend I made a deal with myself that I knew I couldn’t refuse (Err...). I decided not to do any homework. Yep, that’s right. I didn’t do squat. Instead, I read fiction. I actually kicked back on my bed, steaming cup of java within reach, and read, and read, and read. And I finished Ben Bova’s Empire Builders. And then I waltzed over to my teetering pile of books and grabbed Ben Bova’s Mars—and I read, and read, and read.
Utter bliss...
But now I’m paying for neglecting my homework. I have so much crap (and I mean it: it’s all a bunch of worthless busywork) and it’s all due on Monday. But here I am, writing a blog. Hee hee. And surfing the net. Hee hee. Still neglecting. Hee hee.
In fact, (and here comes the tangent) during my surf-fest I googled “time travel” to see if there were any viable theories I could turn into a reality. Time Travel = Grant can go back to last weekend and finish his damn homework so that he’s not stuck doing it all this weekend (very Hermione Granger, I know).
So I found this cool website that explained that all I had to do was give them my name and address, plus ten dollars, and I could travel into the future. You see, my ten dollars goes into a fund that accrues mucho interest over 500 years (their estimation of when time travel will be invented) and then the time travelers will come pick me up. So, theoretically, if I put ten dollars in right now, the people from the future will pick me up a moment later.
And the truly excellent part is: My ten dollars will now be worth millions! Of course, the time travelers will deduct the cost of picking me up and taking me into the future. But, hey, I’ll still be rich. And then I won’t have to worry about homework, or school, or lame ass tenth grader comments. I could read, and read, and read.
Utter bliss...
posted by Grant-Will-Rant at
7:28 PM
3 Comments:
I went to that site and looked, and it's quite genius in its simplicity. On the one hand you think, who would do this? And on the other you think, it's only ten bucks, who cares? :)
Congratulations on your day of utter bliss. It does indeed sound wonderful. I'm jealous.
By
mamashine, at 9:08 AM, November 03, 2005
Makes me wonder. If you give them $10, and weren't whisked away or whatever, could you immediately sue them for breech of contract? That $10 could be a good, no-lose, investment.
By
Oliver Dale, at 6:37 AM, November 04, 2005
They cover their bases well by stating that you might be retrieved "seconds after you join, perhaps even moments before your recorded death, perhaps some other point in your lifetime."
We should be able to specify WHEN we want to be transported to the future. I say, right away.
By
Grant-Will-Rant, at 7:53 PM, November 04, 2005
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