Bugging Out...
It seems like every year there is a new infestation of some bug or another. A few years ago it was the cricket. I remember the little noisy bastards would somehow get into my apartment and I'd see them out of the corner of my eye as I was watching a movie.
At first I was really nice to them. I'd scoop them up, open the door, and set them free. But after a while I started getting really annoyed by their constant chirping and their aimless hopping. It was like having hundreds of one inch kids that never went to sleep.
By the end of the summer I was turning the hot water on in the bathtub and tossing the little chirping bastards in to watch them scurry around for a good two seconds before they just stopped completely, their tiny antennae wilting before my crazed eyes. The last sound they heard was me yelling, "Die you sons and daughters of Satan!!"
Come to think of it, that explains the strange looks I got from my upstairs' neighbors.
Around June, we get these evil flying beetles that are orange and have black stripes on their backs. Here in Fresno we call them Junebugs. And they usually are gone by July, so the name fits.
Anyway, they're extremely clumsy and famous for flying into girls' hair. In fact, that's probably the only cool thing about them. No, I take that back. If you toss them into campfires they quickly fly back out, only they're all on fire so that makes them pretty cool, too. But they're still evil. They have flag-like antennae and if you poke them they hiss.
This year there's another infestation of some grody (I can't believe grody's not in the dictionary) little pipsqueak of a bug. It looks like a grain of rice with wings, but when you poke it it hops.
Well lately they've been getting through the screen in my window and finding their way to my bed. This is so not cool, because now I can't sleep with my window open and I love the sounds of night and the cool summer breezes.
So every night I have to blacken my finger with their little corpses. Oh they can hop, but they can't hide. I meticulously seek them out, swatting and slapping and pinching and twisting their little bodies to smithereens. Then I go outside and drench the wall around my window with Raid. I won't let them ruin my summer, dammit!
On a lighter note, scroll down for some sweet pictures of me and my friends after graduation.
At first I was really nice to them. I'd scoop them up, open the door, and set them free. But after a while I started getting really annoyed by their constant chirping and their aimless hopping. It was like having hundreds of one inch kids that never went to sleep.
By the end of the summer I was turning the hot water on in the bathtub and tossing the little chirping bastards in to watch them scurry around for a good two seconds before they just stopped completely, their tiny antennae wilting before my crazed eyes. The last sound they heard was me yelling, "Die you sons and daughters of Satan!!"
Come to think of it, that explains the strange looks I got from my upstairs' neighbors.
Around June, we get these evil flying beetles that are orange and have black stripes on their backs. Here in Fresno we call them Junebugs. And they usually are gone by July, so the name fits.
Anyway, they're extremely clumsy and famous for flying into girls' hair. In fact, that's probably the only cool thing about them. No, I take that back. If you toss them into campfires they quickly fly back out, only they're all on fire so that makes them pretty cool, too. But they're still evil. They have flag-like antennae and if you poke them they hiss.
This year there's another infestation of some grody (I can't believe grody's not in the dictionary) little pipsqueak of a bug. It looks like a grain of rice with wings, but when you poke it it hops.
Well lately they've been getting through the screen in my window and finding their way to my bed. This is so not cool, because now I can't sleep with my window open and I love the sounds of night and the cool summer breezes.
So every night I have to blacken my finger with their little corpses. Oh they can hop, but they can't hide. I meticulously seek them out, swatting and slapping and pinching and twisting their little bodies to smithereens. Then I go outside and drench the wall around my window with Raid. I won't let them ruin my summer, dammit!
On a lighter note, scroll down for some sweet pictures of me and my friends after graduation.
posted by Grant-Will-Rant at
10:58 PM
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