Potpourri of words...

Graduation Day...

I was thrilled to hear my name being called over the loudspeaker: Gary Grant Morris. My family cheered and hooted. I think my dad farted, but that could have been one of those squeaky horns. When Dr. DenBeste (history department chair) shook my hand, she leaned over and told me that my paper on Russian university students was very good. I nearly farted, myself.

Summer...

So Petra said she wants to drive to New Orleans with a few stops along the way: Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, the world's largest ball of string, the Southfork ranch from the TV show Dallas. I'm thinking I might go with her. I've done a lot of traveling around Europe and I've been to Hawaii a couple of times, but I haven't seen much of the States. So, why not? And hell, I can still practice my French in Louisiana. What a great country we live in!

Joan of Arcadia...

Dammit! The one decent show on television has been canceled. Not that I'm a prude; I do love Desperate Housewives and Survivor and Lost. But come on, Joan was just about to square off with Satan! I admit, I was close to giving up on that show with all its drippy wholesome messages, but then Satan came along and spiced things up. And now they're canceling the series!!

Old memory...

The first time I saw a bidet (Low basin that you sit on to wash your bottom.) I was in France at my friend Marc's house. He told me that it was for washing your feet. So, naturally, after a long day of walking around Paris with Birkenstocks on, I'd end up scrubbing the bottoms of my feet in his parents' bidet. Later on, when I figured out what it's really used for, I decided to give it a whirl. And you know what, it makes really good sense to wash your keister with water. Think about it: Does wiping with paper really remove all the brown goblins? No, I don't think so. You don't wash your car with a dry rag, do you? No, of course you don't! Otherwise, you'd just be smearing the dirt around. I rest my case.

Now go clean your ass.