My First Day...

So the first day of the credential program was long and tedious. My first class was three hours, after which I barely had enough time to dash over to Taco Bell for a quick Burrito Supreme before I had to be at my next class. I did have a three hour break from 3pm to 6pm, but then I didn’t get out until 9pm. Whew!

All day I thought about how nice and relaxing the summer had been, and how I couldn’t wait for next summer so I could get back to my 8 hour per day writing schedule. I’m a writer trapped in a teacher’s life. Help!!

Anyway, I got a kick out of the orientation. The head of the program gave us his wonderful, inspirational, tear jerking speech on what teachers meant for the future of the world and how powerful we are because we “are the shapers of the minds of tomorrow.” That just scares the hell out of me. Fear for our future, people.

“And another thing,” he said, eyeing us intensely, “don’t ever…have sex with your students. I don’t care if they’re eighteen…I don’t care if they have hot bodies…just don’t do it. Don’t even touch them. Don’t call them…don’t page them…don’t text them. Don’t even pat them on the back when they’ve done a good job. But remember…the most important thing is: Don’t have sex with them!”

After everyone had loosened their collars and mopped their foreheads, we moved on to the next topic: Dress codes. Which I found rather humorous. Supposedly there was this Harley Davidson-tattoo-covered-biker-dude-teacher who got in trouble when the administration found out that he was showing off his full-sleeved tattoos to a bunch of seventh graders after school. On his bald head was the Harley Davidson logo. You go, man…or something.