Book Police...
Books. I love them. I love collecting them, smelling them, reading them, and then placing them in alphabetical order on my bookshelf. I like to stand back and stare at them. I like to run my finger down their spines and feel their silky smoothness. I'm in love with books.
When a friend asks to borrow a book I cringe. Usually I offer to buy a new book for them instead of loaning my own. I just can't deal with knowing that one of my books is in the hands of someone else. How will my book be treated? Will it come back to me dog-eared? Will it have coffee stains? Or will it come back at all?
Once I loaned a book to a friend. But upon visiting his house I found the book on the back of his toilet. There it sat, all alone, just inches from where people unload their waste. How could I ever rub that book against my face again? How could I ever take pleasure in its papery scent.
When I read a book I hold it in just a way that the spine never creases. Sort of like trying to read the inside of a taco shell. I just hate to see a book with a wrinkly spine. They should be flawless, smooth, glossy, and look as though they were printed only yesterday. I won't accept anything less.
How do you treat your books?
When a friend asks to borrow a book I cringe. Usually I offer to buy a new book for them instead of loaning my own. I just can't deal with knowing that one of my books is in the hands of someone else. How will my book be treated? Will it come back to me dog-eared? Will it have coffee stains? Or will it come back at all?
Once I loaned a book to a friend. But upon visiting his house I found the book on the back of his toilet. There it sat, all alone, just inches from where people unload their waste. How could I ever rub that book against my face again? How could I ever take pleasure in its papery scent.
When I read a book I hold it in just a way that the spine never creases. Sort of like trying to read the inside of a taco shell. I just hate to see a book with a wrinkly spine. They should be flawless, smooth, glossy, and look as though they were printed only yesterday. I won't accept anything less.
How do you treat your books?
posted by Grant-Will-Rant at
5:35 PM
8 Comments:
You are all so funny with this book thing. I'm just glad you posted. Missed ya. :)
I also hate when spines are broken, and I do that exact taco shell thing. I loathe getting them back and having all those lines in the binding, or worse, when it falls open to a certain spot and you can tell they were BENDING THE COVER BACKWARDS while they read. Hate that. But I want to borrow books, and I know I need to be willing to lend them out. Most people who borrow are more freakish than me though (kate) and so I don't have to worry.
However, I do keep books on the back of my toilet from time to time, though they're more likely to live in a basket in the bathroom that my husband has designated the "shitter basket". And as I mentioned before, I also spill food on them and drop them in bathtubs. I once had to buy the library a new copy of Jane Eyre, hardback, because I completely ruined it in my bubble bath.
Wow, this is becoming a book of its own.
I guess I'm a tiny bit of the book police, and I am very careful when I borrow things, but my books do end up looking used. And I am willing to swap a few of them, but not the good ones, on paperbackswap.com. Hope that doesn't make me a bad mother or anything.
By
mamashine, at 8:00 PM, January 25, 2006
You don't really have a problem with that glossy/broken spine if, you know, you buy hardcovers! Cheapasses ;)
By
Oliver Dale, at 9:11 PM, January 25, 2006
Ollie beat me to it... Buy hardbacks, tight-wad. They are worth it if you collect them. After a while, you'll have your own library.
There is a word for people like you--well, several really--"OBSESSIVE."
Good luck with that.
By
Rooney, at 9:32 PM, January 25, 2006
"...BENDING THE COVER BACKWARDS while they read."
Now that is grounds for capital punishment. Like cracking a puppy's spine over one's leg. It's cruel and absolutely insupportable!
By
Grant-Will-Rant, at 9:21 AM, January 26, 2006
Nuh-uh. Don't like hardcover books.
1) They are too pricey (yes, I'm a cheapskate!)
2) They are too large:
a. They don't fit in my pocket, and when I'm reading a book it goes everywhere with me.
b. They don't look right on my bookshelf. They throw off the uniformity (same reason I despise trade paperbacks).
c. They're awkward to hold while reading in bed. Constantly falling over and knocking my forehead.
3) The dustcover makes me anxious; the top edges often end up splitting or tearing. In other words they're high maintenance.
4) They are too heavy. Ergonomically unfriendly. (Speak to me when you get carpal tunnel from your Terry Goodkind, Ollie)
By
Grant-Will-Rant, at 9:28 AM, January 26, 2006
I actually read 600+ page hardcovers and I hold them with one hand. No problems. Paperbacks are just so... mass market.
By
Oliver Dale, at 8:36 PM, January 26, 2006
I'm with Grant, for all those reasons. Uniform paperbacks are my book of choice.
Ollie, do you really hold Terry Goodkind hardbacks in one hand? I bow to your excellence. I have trouble holding the paperback!
By
mamashine, at 5:43 AM, January 27, 2006
I'm a freak when it comes to my books... maybe one day I'll write my own blog entry about it.
By
Anonymous, at 8:30 AM, January 30, 2006
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