Where are you Taka?

Do you ever stop and remember people you used to know but haven't stayed in contact with? Well, I do. For some reason a memory bounced, unbidden, into my head while I was brushing my teeth this morning. I saw an image of a tall Japanese guy dressed in black jeans and a white open collared shirt. He was standing on a carpeted stage with a microphone in his hand. His long shiny hair covered most of his face. He was singing Can't Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley. And he was doing it well.

No, that's an understatement: He was fantastic.

Takahiro Matzuzaki was a roomie of mine during the nineties. He was from Tokyo, Japan and came to America with one goal: to learn English. You see, he was a singer/songwriter in a rock-n-roll band in Tokyo. His group played 50s and 60s music--mostly the Beatles and, of course, Elvis Presley.

Taka, Tobias, Marc, and I used to frequent the Acapulco Mexican Restaurant in Fresno for cheap drinks and karaoke. However when Taka first announced to us, with an unstable shot of tequila in hand, that he was going to sing Can't Help Falling In Love I was very afraid for him. He hardly spoke any English and I thought there was no way this mumbling Japanese guy was going to pull off Elvis.

But he did; and the audience loved him!

When Taka first came to America he knew two words: "help" and "there." And he learned very quickly how his deficiency in English was going to be a problem. In fact, his first day in America his host mother forgot to pick him up at the airport. Taka had no idea what he was supposed to do, having only been in America for ten minutes.

So, naturally, Taka sought out an airport employee and uttered one of the words he knew: "Help." Then he pointed outside where cars were gathering, picking up and dropping off passengers, and he said the other word he knew: "There." Well, obviously the employee had no idea what Taka wanted. So Taka was forced to wait for three hours for his host mother to show up.

By the time Taka moved into my apartment he knew a little bit more English. By the time he left to go back to Japan he was pretty proficient. I like to think I had something to do with Taka's improvement in English. We spent a lot of time drinking and arguing about politics and religion. But I believe much of his vocabulary was gleaned from watching hours and hours of Beavis and Butthead.

So now I ask: Where are you Taka? Are you still in a band in Tokyo? Are you still singing Elvis? And, like, did you score?

Grantemorte...

So the movie was pretty good. Not my favorite, but not bad. I still think Chamber of Secrets kicks butt overall. And just in case you were wondering: I didn't really dress up as Voldemorte. But if I had, it would've looked a lot like the picture to the right. Though not quite as cheesy.

Nerdeth Alerteth...

It's a little after six in the morning on November 18, 2005 and all I can think about is getting to the movie theater to watch the new Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire movie. My plan is to drink down a cup of coffee, throw on my Voldemort costume, and race down to the theater before the little brats show up. Hee hee hee, I shall be the first brat in line!!

Waaah, waaah, waaah.

Some members of the international community are complaining over America's control of the infrastructure of the Internet. Nations like China and Iran are throwing hissy fits over the fact that America, alone, is in charge of things like domain names and the way in which email servers and web browsers direct traffic on the web.

Well, let me start by saying this: America built the damn Internet, folks. It's the product of American military and academic research. In other words, it's our playground. If you want to play here, you have to follow our rules. If not, then build your own fricking sandbox.

I shudder to think of Iran having any input over how the Internet is governed. This is the country that elected a leader who recently announced that Israel should be "wiped off the map." A nation that can't divorce religion from government. A nation that demands that its women cover their faces in public.

I can see it already: The Internet will be shut down, five times a day, for prayer. All pictures of women will be covered in a black shroud. Anyone who types "Israel" will be booted from the Internet until they've repented.

Well, fortunately, America is going to remain in control of the Internet. Over one hundred nations at the World Summit on the Information Society agreed that the U.S. should retain control over the web's technical functions, which include the domain name addressing system.

So phooey on you nations who consistently berate America, yet take advantage of our ingenuity, and then try to steal it from us. Piss-ants!

My Trip To Mars...

I just finished reading Mars by Ben Bova. Excellent read! I literally feel like I just got back from a harrowing adventure to the red planet. Which attests to the author's incredible adeptness at painting such a believable version of what it would be like to explore the dusty, craggy, freezing planet. The vivid characters, the shady politics, the meddlesome media--all contributed to the authenticity of this story.

Here's a taste: (Keep in mind, the characters are searching for the existence of life on Mars.)

Jamie stood as tall as his suit would allow and gazed out toward the beckoning horizon, his back to the dome and the others. Even inside the hard shell of his suit he strove to get a feeling for this Martian landscape, a sense of harmony with this strange new world.

Then he saw a patch of green.

Ooooh ahhhh. I just about peed my pants at that point. And now I want to go back. I want to pee some more. I want to write my name in the red sand. Okay, I'm getting carried away. But I do want to go to Mars again. Which is quite possible, since Ben Bova has written a book called Return to Mars.

The problem is that it's part of the Grand Tour series which consists of about fifteen novels, two of which are between Mars and Return to Mars. So you can see my dilemma: I can't just skip over Moonrise and Moonwar--to do so would go against my neurotic sense of order. The universe would be thrown completely out of whack.

So, instead, I decided to read something completely different. Something a little more down to Earth. Details in the right hand column.

Here are some of the great predictions Ben Bova has made throughout his career:

1) Space race of the 1960s
2) Solar power satellites
3) Organic chemicals in interstellar space
4) Virtual reality
5) Strategic defense initiative
6) International peacekeeping force
7) Electronic books
8) Water on the moon
9) Life on mars
10) Sex in zero gravity (I'm not kidding)

Not by the hair of my tentacles...

Don't read too much into that title.

It relates to the pig I drew. If you'd like to draw a pig too, click here. After you draw your pig your personality will be assessed according to the uniqueness of your piggy. By the way, I found this goofy pig-drawing website on KEP's blog.

Have fun!

Sophomore Quote of the Week...

Derek: (to his friend) No, I'm telling you, getting suspended is cool. I got to stay home and watch People's Court all day.

Terror on the High Seas...

I was reading the BBC news website this morning and came across this photo of the Somalian pirates who tried to take over a cruise ship off the coast of Africa. Okay, what were these idiots thinking? They are like five skinny dudes in a rowboat versus a massive cruise ship with three hundred fat Americans on board. Pleeeeaaase! The Americans would've pulverized them.

Apparently these dudes were having an excellent time shooting their machine guns and grenade launchers at the cruise ship. Several passengers stated afterward that the pirates never stopped smiling. Personally, I think they smoked too much opium and thought they were harpooning Moby Dick.

Anyway, some are claiming that these pirates are actually Al Qaeda terrorists. Me, I'm not buying it. Osama could afford a bigger boat. But then I got to thinking about the absurdity of Muslim pirates terrorizing the seas. And then it happened. I heard this stereotypical pirate voice in my head and it went like this: ALLAH AKBARRRRRRR...

Kids, you gotta love 'em...

Or do you?

Paul: Hey, Mr. Morris. You know what? After high school I wanna be a teacher and a football coach.

Me: Oh yeah, that's terrific.

Paul: But I also thought about becoming a guerilla in the Columbian jungles.

Me: (double take) Hmmm, I can see how that would be a difficult choice.

Wil Wheaton in Exile...

For those of you who have been wondering where Wil is...he's in exile. In other words, WWdN is broken and so he's blogging on WWdN: In Exile.

Utter Bliss...

Every Saturday I treat myself to a movie and a book. That is, I go to the Edward’s 21 screen cinema and see the latest flick, then I use my weekly Border’s 20% off coupon (thanks to my newsletter subscription) to purchase a new paperback. The problem is: I never have enough time to read any of these dang books!

So the pile’s getting taller and taller. But I can’t stop buying books!

So this past weekend I made a deal with myself that I knew I couldn’t refuse (Err...). I decided not to do any homework. Yep, that’s right. I didn’t do squat. Instead, I read fiction. I actually kicked back on my bed, steaming cup of java within reach, and read, and read, and read. And I finished Ben Bova’s Empire Builders. And then I waltzed over to my teetering pile of books and grabbed Ben Bova’s Mars—and I read, and read, and read.

Utter bliss...

But now I’m paying for neglecting my homework. I have so much crap (and I mean it: it’s all a bunch of worthless busywork) and it’s all due on Monday. But here I am, writing a blog. Hee hee. And surfing the net. Hee hee. Still neglecting. Hee hee.

In fact, (and here comes the tangent) during my surf-fest I googled “time travel” to see if there were any viable theories I could turn into a reality. Time Travel = Grant can go back to last weekend and finish his damn homework so that he’s not stuck doing it all this weekend (very Hermione Granger, I know).

So I found this cool website that explained that all I had to do was give them my name and address, plus ten dollars, and I could travel into the future. You see, my ten dollars goes into a fund that accrues mucho interest over 500 years (their estimation of when time travel will be invented) and then the time travelers will come pick me up. So, theoretically, if I put ten dollars in right now, the people from the future will pick me up a moment later.

And the truly excellent part is: My ten dollars will now be worth millions! Of course, the time travelers will deduct the cost of picking me up and taking me into the future. But, hey, I’ll still be rich. And then I won’t have to worry about homework, or school, or lame ass tenth grader comments. I could read, and read, and read.

Utter bliss...

Shocking Quote of the Week...

From a tenth grader:

Student: Man, there’re way too many people in this world. We need another World War.

Me: (on the outside) *Speechless* (on the inside) You little ignorant bastard. Why, I oughta #%$&#$ and then I’m gonna %$#&#@$# and you’re gonna wish you were never born! Yeah, and that’ll help the overpopulation problem!